Cut me to pieces, Volsces; men and lads, Stain all your edges on me.

A quick, vulgar version of Coriolanus.  Part III.

Act IV, Scene IV.
Antium (that's a Volscian city).  A hall in Aufidius' house.

(Enter CORIOLANUS)
First Servant: Who the fuck are you?
Coriolanus: Servants?  Fuck you guys.
Second Servant: He wants to see the boss. (exits)
(Enter AUFIDIUS)
Aufidius: Who the fuck are you?
Coriolanus: The ear!  I...
Aufidius: Dude!  You look like shit.  Trouble in paradise?
Coriolanus: Romans.  Fuck those guys.
Aufidius: You tried to get into politics, didn't you.  Dumbass.
Coriolanus: Yeah.
Aufidius: Want to get back at 'em?  You could, say, lead my army with me, raze Rome to the ground and kill everyone who's ever done you wrong?
Coriolanus: Yeah!!

Act IV, Scene VI.
Rome.  A public place.  Again.

(Enter SICINIUS and BRUTUS)
Brutus: So.  Coriolanus is at the gates and is going to kill the fuck out of us and destroy Rome.
Sicinius: Dude. This totally backfired.
Brutus: Yeah.  We're pretty much fucked.

Act V
The Volscian camp outside Rome.

(CORIOLANUS sits with AUFIDIUS and a SHIT TON OF VOLSCIAN SOLDIERS)
(Enter EVERYONE CORIOLANUS HAS EVER KNOWN)
Menenius: Please don't kill us?
Coriolanus: Everyone I've ever known?  Fuck you guys.
Aufidius: Yeah!  He's mine now!
Volumnia: Even me, Coriolanus?
Coriolanus: Mommy?
Aufidius: What?  Come on.  Seriously?
Coriolanus: Aufidius?  Fuck you.  In the ear.
(Exit EVERYONE CORIOLANUS HAS EVER KNOWN)
Aufidius: You've got to be fucking kidding me.
Coriolanus: Nope.
Aufidius: Fine.  Fuck you then.
(AUFIDIUS stabs the hell out of CORIOLANUS, who dies.  AUFIDIUS dances on his corpse.  BRUTUS and SICINIUS twirl mustaches)