Cut me to pieces, Volsces; men and lads, Stain all your edges on me.

A quick, vulgar version of Coriolanus.  Part III.

Act IV, Scene IV.
Antium (that's a Volscian city).  A hall in Aufidius' house.

(Enter CORIOLANUS)
First Servant: Who the fuck are you?
Coriolanus: Servants?  Fuck you guys.
Second Servant: He wants to see the boss. (exits)
(Enter AUFIDIUS)
Aufidius: Who the fuck are you?
Coriolanus: The ear!  I...
Aufidius: Dude!  You look like shit.  Trouble in paradise?
Coriolanus: Romans.  Fuck those guys.
Aufidius: You tried to get into politics, didn't you.  Dumbass.
Coriolanus: Yeah.
Aufidius: Want to get back at 'em?  You could, say, lead my army with me, raze Rome to the ground and kill everyone who's ever done you wrong?
Coriolanus: Yeah!!

Act IV, Scene VI.
Rome.  A public place.  Again.

(Enter SICINIUS and BRUTUS)
Brutus: So.  Coriolanus is at the gates and is going to kill the fuck out of us and destroy Rome.
Sicinius: Dude. This totally backfired.
Brutus: Yeah.  We're pretty much fucked.

Act V
The Volscian camp outside Rome.

(CORIOLANUS sits with AUFIDIUS and a SHIT TON OF VOLSCIAN SOLDIERS)
(Enter EVERYONE CORIOLANUS HAS EVER KNOWN)
Menenius: Please don't kill us?
Coriolanus: Everyone I've ever known?  Fuck you guys.
Aufidius: Yeah!  He's mine now!
Volumnia: Even me, Coriolanus?
Coriolanus: Mommy?
Aufidius: What?  Come on.  Seriously?
Coriolanus: Aufidius?  Fuck you.  In the ear.
(Exit EVERYONE CORIOLANUS HAS EVER KNOWN)
Aufidius: You've got to be fucking kidding me.
Coriolanus: Nope.
Aufidius: Fine.  Fuck you then.
(AUFIDIUS stabs the hell out of CORIOLANUS, who dies.  AUFIDIUS dances on his corpse.  BRUTUS and SICINIUS twirl mustaches)

Upon their ancient malice will forget With the least cause these his new honours

A quick, vulgar version of Coriolanus.  Part II.

Act II, Scene I.
Rome.  A public place.

(Enter SICINIUS and BRUTUS, twirling their mustaches)
Sicinius: It's good to be evil!
Brutus: It is!  And to be a tribune of Rome!
Sicinius: Yes!  Haha!  It is good to be an evil tribune!
(Enter MENENIUS)
Menenius: Hey guys.  We're gonna make Coriolanus a consul.  Wanna come watch?
Brutus: What?  But we hate him!!!
Menenius: Yeah, whatever.  (Exits)
Sicinius: That blows.  Hey!  Wanna see if we can get him killed?
Brutus: Great idea!  Yippee!
(Exeunt)

Act II, Scene II/III.
Rome.  The Forum.

(Enter MENENIUS, MARCIUS and SOME SENATORS)
Menenius: Guys, Coriolanus is awesome.  I would gargle his ba...
First Senator: None of that now, Menenius!  What do you think this is, Ancient Rome?
Second Senator: No, let's just make him a tribune.
Menenius: Okay.  Now, Coriolanus, there's some citizens outside.  You don't have to suck up, just be a little nice.  Then they'll elect you.
Coriolanus: Okay.
(Coriolanus goes outside, where SOME CITIZENS have gathered to elect him)
First Citizen: Dude!  We heard you're awesome!
Second Citizen: Yeah!  We want to elect you!
Coriolanus: What?  Citizens?!?  Fuck you guys!!! (exits)
First Citizen: Oh.  What a dick.
Third Citizen: Yeah.  I guess... we'll... elect him anyway?
(Enter SICINIUS and BRUTUS)
Second Citizen: Hey!  Just what we need, some tribunes! We elect Coriolanus.
Sicinius: Really?  But... he's kind of a dick.
First Citizen: Got a better plan?
Brutus: Yep.  Lynch mob.
Second Citizen: Lynch mob?
Third Citizen: Lynch mob!!!
(Citizens exeunt, while SICINIUS and BRUTUS twirl mustaches)

Act III, Scene I.
Rome.  I don't know, somewhere in Rome.  MENENIUS and CORIOLANUS are hanging out with SOME SENATORS.

Menenius: Dude, you're going to love being a consul.
Coriolanus: Okay.
(enter SOME CITIZENS, BRUTUS and SICINIUS)
First Citizen: Coriolanus!  We're going to hang your ass!
Coriolanus: Citizens?  Fuck you guys!
Menenius: Yeah!  He's a consul now.
Second Citizen: Nuh uh!  We unelected him!
Menenius: Wait, what?
Brutus: Yep!  We can do that because we're tribunes.
Coriolanus: Tribunes?  Fuck you guys!
(SICINIUS gives CORIOLANUS the finger)
Citizens (chanting): Hang him!  Hang him!
First Senator:  Nope.  We're just gonna banish him.  You know why?  'Cause senator outranks both citizen and tribune.
Coriolanus: Senators!
Second Senator: Fuck us guys?
Coriolanus: Yup.  (exits)
(BRUTUS and SICINIUS twirl mustaches)

The gates are ope: now prove good seconds: 'Tis for the followers fortune widens them, Not for the fliers: mark me

A quick, vulgar version of Coriolanus.  Part I.

Act I, Scene I.
Rome.  A street.

(Enter MENENIUS, MARCIUS and SOME CITIZENS)
Citizens:  We hate Marcius!  He's a jerk!
Menenius Agrippa: No, no!  He's pretty cool.
Caius Marcius: Citizens?  Fuck you guys.
(enter MESSENGER)
Messenger: The Volscians are in the field!  With an army!
Marcius: Volscians!  Fuck those guys!
Messenger: Led by Tullus Aufidius.
Marcius: Aufidius!!!  Fuck that guy!  In the ear!!!
(exit MARCIUS)

Act I, Scene IV.
Before Corioli

(Enter MARCIUS and SOME DUDES)
First Dude: Whew!  Fighting is hard.
Second Dude: Look!  The Volscians retreat within the walls of their city!
First Dude: To follow would mean certain death!
Marcius: Psh!
(MARCIUS chases the WHOLE VOLSCIAN ARMY within their walls.  The gates are shut behind him.)
Third Dude: Woah.
Second Dude: Welp!  He's fucked.  Might as well go home.
(The gates are opened.  MARCIUS stands there, alone, covered in blood and juggling the heads of the WHOLE VOLSCIAN ARMY.)
Third Dude: Woah.


Act I, Scene IX.
The Roman camp.

(Enter COMINIUS, MARCIUS, SOME DUDES and CHEWBACCA)
Cominius: Dude, that was awesome.
Marcius: Psh.
(COMINIUS gives MARCIUS a medal)
Chewbacca: Raaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrr!
Cominius: From now on I'm gonna call you "Coriolanus".
First Dude (aside): Heh.
Second Dude (aside): Does that mean "the asshole of Corioli".
Third Dude: Won't that confuse the audience?
Cominius: It's the name of the play, dickweed!  They're just going to have to work for it.  Now, Coriolanus...
Marcius: ...
Cominius: Coriolanus, come on, let's go.
Marcius: ...
Cominius: MARCIUS!
Marcius: Huh?
Cominius: You're Coriolanus now.  Got it?  Good.  Let's go.
(Exeunt)

O, a kiss, Long as my exile, sweet as my revenge!

I've completed the first tetrology and moved on.  Coriolanus was the next pick.  Not through any urgency to hear it, but I wanted something both tragic and unfamiliar after the hard trek that was four histories in a row.

So, Coriolanus, the tale of a roman general who, after winning a great victory for Rome, gets involved in politics, is backstabbed, exiled, turns on his former home, turns on his new allies, and is ultimately murdered.  Yep, that sounds like Shakespearean tragedy!

Caius Marcius (later Coriolanus) is the author of his own downfall.  Dude never should have gotten into politics and his unbending pride should have kept him from office.  Supposedly, Marcius is more difficult to understand than his fellow tragic heroes.  He doesn't explain himself at great length, like, say Hamlet, rambling on about his feelings.  Rather, he is certain and absolute in every action and reaction.  His motivation is to serve Rome (with, perhaps, a helping of bloodthirst on the side), and when Rome spurns him, his pride and soldierly acumen send him down a vengeful road.  He's so angry that he goes to his archnemesis (yeah, it's like that!) Tullus Aufidius, the Volscian general, and agrees to help him lead their army against Rome.

Eventually he backs down, talked out of razing Rome by his mother.  For this betrayal, Aufidius quickly arranges a conspiracy and there is a good, old fashioned group stabbing.  In fact, this is a fun and delicate bit, pentametrically speaking. 

Coriolanus: Act V, Scene VI, Line 154:
CONSPIRATORS: Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill him!
(The Conspirators draw, and kill CORIOLANUS: AUFIDIUS stands on his body)
LORDS: Hold, hold, hold, hold!

Six beats to kill him, four to hold and the man dead by line 155.

Also, take a look at that stage direction.  It's a far cry from (Exeunt) or (He strikes), isn't it?  According to wikipedia, the in-depth directions in Coriolanus suggest that the text we have is descended from a version (the First Folio) that was typeset from the "prompt book", not just a text with all of the lines but all of the stage directions, cues, blocking and all.  Pretty neat, huh?